- L 1 & M1. You two never met each other until when? Oh yes, the day I introduced you two. I'm happy that you two kicked it off well. Reminder; that friendship I had with the both of you separately before you two met. L1, you knew M1 was my homie. M1, you knew what was good with me and L1. L1, from time you kept on telling me you missed me and all that shit and told me nothing was going on. I believed you and it doesn't matter but what does was that you kept on lying to me and denying everything? M1, you were a homie to me. We never got into any fights and arguments or fucked each other over. Yet there you are asking all your friends if you should tell me instead of hiding it from me? They all told you to tell me before I figure out on my own and get fucking mad but you still don't have the nerves to tell me yourself. You have the nerves to do shit and hide it from me but not have the guts to tell me or stand your ground about it? Seriously, you two are bullshit story flippas foreal. L1, do you know how many times I caught you lying or flipping the story around? I couldn't say nothing because it would've made everything more complicated and drag more people in the situation. Seriously you got some drama problem man, just simply be real and tell the truth. It's like every little thing you would lie about. M1, we never hid shit from each other but you feel the need for this shit? So much for being real, people Remember the days when you'd tell me to "get that, tap that, you getting at that?" No, it's not like that. Do you know frustrated I got when I kept hearing that from you? I'm not trying to get "that" from anyone. I wanted them for who they were and how they were. Not for what they got or how good they are, like seriously. I guess you look at the ladies differently from the way I do. If you want to "tap that" or "get that" then you go do that. It's not disrespect that you're getting at my leftovers but that you're lying to me about it and can't tell me? Confront me? Yes we are through but the least you can do is respect what she wanted when she said so or at least respected OUR friendship. You two can fuck off and do you. L1, you didn't even look at me but had your focus on each other and later on kissing up on my ass, fuck off. I already asked you what the fuck are you doing. M1, you deny and deny right to my face. Both you fucks were there and just separately denying it and lying to my face. I'm done with you shits, once I introduced you guys, did I get shit? No. You guys hit it off and fucking left me on my own. It's like my girl was with me and left with my best girl. I know how frustrating, messed and fucked that shit is now thanks to you two. Notice how I stopped going to you guys, checking up on you two and calling you guys out to chill? Maybe it was because you guys had each fucking other, fucked me over and left me there.
- M2, what do I say. We hit it off great. The sparks, flirting, infatuation, the vibe, the times sent together, everything was just awesome. We later on slowly hitting a down fall and although I know I want to be the one, I can't. I guess you're right, I'm not sure of what you want because you yourself don't know what you want. I paused after reading that you didn't want to make it work but what ever happens happens right? Looking for hope and finding that chance to prove that you're the one I want to be with and that no one else had shit on you. I can tell you right now you taught me a lot in so little time. I'm pretty sure I can say, you're probably the most realest, honest, down to earth person I've ever met and that's what I absolutely love about you. Maybe we can work things out or maybe we can't but I hurts to see what I had is slowly slipping from my grasp. The hours spent just laying there talking is something I wont forget because never was I able to lay in bed for five or six hours talking and talking without doze off, losing interest or getting bored. Every time I spent with you were priceless and memorable. Seeing you happy, smiling, dropping you off at school and picking you up or when I'd walk you to school those mornings. I loved it then and miss it now. I haven't been so open to you lately due to how we been lately but I know I can if only you were always there and we were good. I hope we can fix this, if not then at least you'll be happy right? I don't want you to pity me nor drag me on. At the same time I'm unsure of what I'll be ok with you doing. I agree with what you said about feeling distanced. I feel like I lost a best friend, we were so close, so good, so open and free. You're really different from the rest, special and unique. If you have to think about it then do so and take your time, I'll respect what you want if you're sure that's what you want. I know I can turn to you and soon will but it's just been so hectic with us that's why I can't even find the right time to open up to you. You know I'll always be here. You were there for me in the past and I'll be there for you now and he future.
- L2, man it's been long since we've talked and caught up with each other. I don't know if it's such a good idea right now though because I don't really want to put myself in that situation. I have my mind, eyes and "heart" locked and I don't need anymore stress or problems to pile up on top of each other because I already have a lot to deal with already. I don't even think I can open up to you anymore, it's just so different. You flirt and act like we have a thing going on and I don't want you to think that. I don't want to stop talking to you but the truth is that the this has got to stop. I don't want to get into anything with you, I just want to be good friends as we were before in our school days. I don't have much to say because we're good I guess but don't get all mad and shit like you're my girlfriend because you're not. I don't want to hurt you because I've hurt too many people already by falling to easily and fucking around but thing is I changed and you got to change your act back to when we were just good friends. I always had your back and looked out for you but I wasn't looking for anything to happen and am still not.
Overall I feel betrayed, back stabbed, distanced, alone, used and afraid/scared. I just want what it was, what I had. I wish I could go back to do things over again and correct them but truth is I can't. I can only stay here or take a step forward and see where it leads me. Every corner I turn is like a dead end. It's being held in until I can't take it no more, until I erupt. I'm tired of being the nice, friendly, good guy that everyone turns to for favours and shit. You don't need me until you want or need something from me. This isn't to any of you four but I'm just saying it to others, about how I feel. I keep letting myself get fucked over, played, used and taken as a joke.